Thursday, December 9, 2010

M.I.A. because I fell short

Oh well here we go again . . . I've been a terrible blogger b/c I've been MIA for a few weeks and I think its because of 2 things. 1) I FELL SHORT and I was very upset with myself because I feel like I let you all down more so then letting my own self down. 2) My mind has been consumed waiting to hear back from an open call I went to.
So let's address the #1 reason why I went missing. I started my 30 days till Turkey Day challenge with a BANG and I was rocking & rolling. I was working out consistently, eating clean/healthy, getting my cardio in, etc and everything was GREAT! I had even dropped down to 151 which was only 6lbs away from my goal weight of 145. . . then the wheels fell off. I think it all happened somewhere around the middle of the month while I was trying to finalize everything for our move. I found myself missing a workout here or a workout there, then it became 2 days and the guilt just started mounting. Once that happened I told myself I didn't have to eat clean anymore and I could just eat healthy and that's when it went from bad to worse because Thanksgiving came. Now I will honestly admit I ate pretty decent. I didn't have any glutinous plates of food but I did eat things like popcorn, biscuits, NUTS, and even a Krispy Kreme doughnut which immediately gave me diabetes because I haven't had anything that sweet since "Hector was a pup". (let me explain that saying real fast b/c I use it a lot: Hector is a name of a imaginary dog . . . so if I haven't done something since "Hector was a pup" then it's been a looooooooooong time LOLOL!!!) So back to the story. . . I knew things were a little out of whack because I have eyes and I saw my abs weren't as visible and my pants were a smidge tighter but not uncomfortable. Well when I got back home I weighed myself,  LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD why did I do that. Let's just say it wasn't an ideal weight. I now found myself in a worse mood then I was when I initially fell of the wagon and I had some damage control work to do and I did it then my "friend" decided it was time to grace me with her aggravating presence. Since I'm dealing with that situation right now I've decided not to weigh myself again until this Sunday and I'll report back to you on my progress, but if I keep up the pace I've been going at all will be well. I'm very hard on myself and I set a lofty but attainable goal and I was VERY DISAPPOINTED with myself for failing and letting you all down. I am good at carrying Guilt!! This is why I've never been able to cheat or steal because I can't live with the thought of knowing what I've done, it just eats me up like none other!
So now let's talk about the #2 reason why I've been away . . . Ya'll know I participated in the Wilhelmina open call for the Next Hot Body and it went GREAT!! So much so to where I was completely blown away. They were very impressed with me, my store, my progress, the whole nine. Nooooooooow we're drawing closer to the day where they announce the semi-finalists and I'm nervously awaiting a phone call, email, snail mail, singing telegram, a sky writing or any form of communication they'd like to use to get in touch with me and let me know I've made the cut. My friends & family seem to believe I've already got it in the bag and on the 14th I'll be contacted and all will be well. I don't deny that I'm just anxious. I know I did all I could do to impress them and express why I should be chosen as a participant in this contest and now its in God's hands. But again I'm still nervous mainly to do with my #1 reason for being MIA. I've gotta get my body back in tip top, knock'em dead, give the people what they want shape and I vow not to rest until I've done so. On that note I have to take these sweaty clothes off from my recent cardio workout and change for my lifting workout for the evening. I WILL NOT BE DENIED!! So I'll wrap this up by saying I am soooooooooooo very sorry for failing in my challenge and for going missing. I promise to do better next time.
Love you all and talk to ya soon