I AM STRONGER THAN MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS . . .

I've admitted numerous times I am very weak & have little to NO willpower/self-control when it comes to nuts & trailmix. Now this wouldn't be a bad thing if I didn't eat them in  such OBSCENE quantities. By doing this for the past few weeks (let's be real . . . MONTHS) it has caused some unwanted weight gain and a major disappoint with self. I've said I would stop several times then I immediately give in for this reason or that reason after a day or so. Well we're approaching almost a week with NO Nuts or Trailmix and I'm honestly vowing to gain self-control over this demon that I've let have power over me for TOOOOOO long. I have long term goals in mind and allowing myself to be controlled by something instead of me controlling it will NOT get me to where I want to be!!

We ALL have a weaknesses. . .be it food, drink, activities, people, etc that aren't necessarily beneficial for us and to our long term goals but what are we doing about it?!?! Are we trying to gain control over them or are we continuing to let these things control us? It's not necessarily about saying NO to things things FOREVER but it is about saying NO for Right Now!! Having the strength to say NO for now and really mean it is a VERY EMPOWERING feeling. By gaining back some my power everyday I become stronger & stronger and I further know that there's NOTHING I can't put my mind to and accomplish. It also lets me know that what I thought I "had" to have or "had" to do wasn't really a necessity at all but more of a want or a crutch that I used to lean on for when I was going through something. I would turn to nuts & trailmix when I was feeling bad (illness), when I wasn't thinking highly of myself, when someone aggravated me, when I was pinched for time but NOT out of time and could've made a better choice, when I was claiming to be hungry from my competition dieting and here's the BIGGEST one. . . when I was accepting DEFEAT and just deciding it was better to give up & participate in self sabotage. . . WELL NO MORE because I AM STRONGER THAN MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS!! I am no longer a vessel that can be easily controlled by outside forces. With the guidance of God, self-discipline, and determination to be the BEST me that I know I can be I will work tirelessly everyday to say NO to these weaknesses and regain a little piece of me with everyday that passes.
Are you're ABLE but are you WILLING to be STRONGER THAN YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS?

KQ~

ps . . .the 1st step in this process is ADMITTING you weaknesses because contrary to what people may lead you to believe we ALL have weaknesses & things that can lead to our downfall

Coming OUT of the Closet. . .

ahhhhhhhhhhhh I peaked your interest I bet but pick your jaws up because I'm NOT coming outta that closet ;) hehehehe!! The closet I've been in is . . . . the fact that I'm a CLOSETED EATER!!

WOW, SURPRISING, SHOCKING I KNOW BUT TRUE!!
Now its not like I've been in the closet eating doritos, soda, fried chicken or anything so don't get paranoid but I have been secretly indulging in Nuts in an obscene fashion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 this is probably on the lower half (somewhere between 1-5) but nonetheless its a BAD HABIT!! As I told ya'll a few days back I've been training HARD since January 1st and I've given it ALL I HAD!! During that time I would have a few nuts here and there and no biggie but while approaching my 1st show they had my FAVORITE nuts on sale 3/$10 (now this is a deal considering those foolish things were $6.99 a container). So when I saw that I HAD to stock up for afterwards and STOCK UP I did. I purchased 6 containers and hid them under my backseat and left them there until after the show. When the day of the show approached I put 1 can in my show bag and nibbled ever so sparingly. BUT when the show ended it was ON!!! I tried to gorge myself in such a fashion that I ended up dropping the entire container outside in the pouring rain so I just said forget it. For the next few weeks I did good because I was prepping for my 2nd show so I had several of those containers left. Once the last show came & went IT WAS ON!! I have been eating nuts like someone crazy. And since LC watches my nut consumption I had to keep them hidden in my car. I know ya'll still think this is NO big deal but for a person like me who's All or Nothing I made sure I gave my ALL to eating every last nut ;) And every time I ate them I felt a guilt you can't imagine (or maybe you can if you have your own secret bad habit).
Having to hide what you're doing is an obvious sign that 1) you probably shouldn't be doing it and 2) you may have a problem with whatever activity you're involving yourself in. So the real question here is WHY am I admitting this?!?! Well there's several reasons:

1. SHAME!! My 6yr old saw me buy more nuts then put them under my seat and start grabbing them here and there and finally she said "Mommy, why are you keeping nuts in your car?" I told her I was hiding them and she said "Mommy, that's CRAZY!! Why would someone hide something in their car and sneak and eat it?!? I mean mommy if you're supposed to have them then why hide them?!?" WOWOW THE SHAME!!
2. The GUILT of continuing this behavior was just killing me because I emotionally & physically BEAT myself up every time I allowed myself to over induldge
3. HERNIA IRRITATION :( As ya'll already know I have this umbilical hernia and every time I eat'em (and I'm talking about even a handful) I end up with this WORST pain in my hernia and it bulges out and looks so awful. 
4. I want ya'll to know I'm NORMAL & HUMAN like everyone else. No matter what successes I have achieved I struggle like everyone else with different vices and NUTS are mine :(

There's prolly several other reasons but these are the biggest ones and after reading them again you ask yourself like I asked myself  "WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU DO IT THEN?!?!" Well once I really asked myself that question honestly & truthfully I had NO GOOD answer and again I felt immense shame. Just a quick thing about me if you haven't realized it already, I suffer from a guilt complex. But we'll talk about that later, lets get back to my confession. So I decided on Saturday that I was DONE!! That's IT, I QUIT, NO MORE. . .I'm going COLD TURKEY!! I know its going to be hard because I'm already thinking about Nuts but I'm STRONGER then that and I WON'T be defeated!! I feel so much better now that I've confessed this to everyone . . .first I told my bestie Kendra and she totally understood, which makes me feel better then I told LC and he shook his head and said "I knew it, I knew it!! I'm going to hafta keep my eye on you". LOLOLOL!! Honestly I knew he was going to say that which is why I told him because that's what I needed, someone to hold me accountable :) Now I've told ya'll and I feel like a load has been lifted off of me and I can move on. So here we go. . .I'm entering the Betty Ford Rehab Center for my Nut Addiction and I can't guarantee how many days I'll be in the program but unlike these celebrities I'm going to stay until I complete the program, LOLOL!! Hey at least I can joke about it. With that being said it feels GREAT to be OUT OF THE CLOSET!! Ya'll continue to Push Hard and Work for what you Want!!
KQ~
ps . . .remember the 30 in 30 starts on Friday so stay on the lookout for an event invitation from me and more details to come today ;) Love all of ya'll and I'm here to support you just as much as you're here to support me and together we're headed to the TOP!!

Accepting I'm NOT a Failure

. . . YUP I said it!!
Now the question is WHY did I say it?!?! Well here's why, I've been in INTENSIVE training for this years competition season since JANUARY 1st!! That is NO LIE, NO JOKE. . . straight up FOR REAL, HARDCORE, PEDAL TO THE MEDAL Training and I had yet 1 more show planned for the year on the books that's coming up this weekend aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'M NOT COMPETING :(
Deciding NOT to compete was VERY hard for me but it honestly should've been easier when you hear the reasons why, which are:

1. I am/have been suffering from an umbilical hernia for VERY VERY long time and lately its been getting OUT OF CONTROL because of this my health could be seriously at risk :(
2. I have a WONDERFUL family (LC & KZ, plus all my extended kinfolks) whom I want to spend more time with. Being that I've spent so much time this year focusing on these shows I know I've alienated them and made them uncomfortable with having to run to the gym all the time and carry my food "competition" everywhere I go (I will always carry some kinda food b/c I don't eat the MESS out in the streets) 
3. I wan to spend time growing my personal training business and time reaching out to all of ya'll and helping you in any way I possibly can!!

These are the main reasons for my decision and seeing them written here you'd think it would've been easy for me to say NO to competing this weekend but its been HARD!! I feel like such a FAILURE/QUITTER!! I am very much an All or Nothing person and after having decided what shows I wanted to do this year, saying NO to one of them is crushing me!! Now honestly I know I'm not a failure and I've made tremendous progress this year, much more then I've ever expected actually, but that doesn't stop me from having these feelings. I just can't explain to ya'll how this week has felt like the longest week of my life because I know what's its leading up to and I know I won't be there to participate. Writing this to ya'll is KILLING ME right now!! This is the main reason why I've been so quiet cause I've honestly I just don't wanna talk :( and those who know me know if I don't have anything to say SOMETHING GOT'S TO BE WRONG!!
This also explains to ya'll why I've been going through some up's & down's over the last few weeks because I knew this decision was a serious possibility and I just couldn't deal. But I know I'll be Ok in no time and right now I need to go through this emotionally down time in order to come out better on the other side. So my silence will most likely continue until thru the weekend because I'm spending some serious "QUALITY TIME" with my 2 FAVORITE people and I'm going to use that time to clear my mind and come back to reality. I'm just going to continue praying & pushing forward and working on all the things I have on my "to-do" list and everything will be ok!!
As always I Love Ya'll to pieces and I'll be talking with ya soon!! Until then STAY FOCUSED, KEEP PUSHING, & GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!!!
KQ~

Will Work(OUT) 4 Food!!!

YES you read that right . . . I said it . . . I will WORKOUT 4 FOOD!!! Now you're probably wondering WHAT IN THE WORLD I'm talking about and I will explain . . .

this is Kendra . . . She's SO AWESOME!!

Thanks to a WONDERFUL FRIEND, MOTIVATOR, TEACHER, INSPIRATION & so many other adjectives I can think of to describe my girl Kendra I have adopted this theory and needless to say IT WORKS!! For starters I eat at least 5 times a day and I eat Healthy & Clean almost all the time. . . BUT I still make myself "work for those meals". For example, in the AM when I wake up I will either do my cardio or my entire workout before having my 1st meal. Then for the remainder of the day (when time permits) I will do abs, pushups, etc 30min prior to having my meal that way I feel as though I've earned it. Now again those meals are Healthy and/or Clean so its not like I'm working hard so I can eat junk because that's NOT happening!! Doing this prior to each meal also helps me keep my mind focused on the goals at hand.

Sooooooooo how does this apply to you and how can you try to adapt this principle. Unlike me I know most of you don't work from home so that does allow me the ability to do a lot of different things before my meals but you can adjust it to work for you. Let's say you work in an office building and you have 1hr for lunch, welllllllllllll then why not lace up your sneakers and walk the stairs in the building for 15min then you have the remaining 45min to enjoy your meal and rest. If the weather permits then go for a brief stroll around the parking lot or walk to the restaurant where you're planning to have lunch. At any rate Do Something before eating your meals and you will feel as though you've earned them and in turn you'll cherish them more and start making better choices because you don't want your work to be in vain ;)

Now I will honestly tell ya'll that I took this theory to a NEW level today when I did my workout then took spin class where we got our butts KICKED!! Not only this this instructor hard under normal circumstances but he decided to turn it up a notch today. . . for starters NO music, then he didn't spin so he could walk around and adjust our tension when he felt we weren't working hard enough, then he stopped class early so we could do abs & pushups. Since we have men in our class he'll challenge the men to do X number of pushups then the ladies can stop . . . welllllllll needless to say he puts me in the "men" category and today he challenged me to 100 and PLEASE BELIEVE I BEAT THE OTHER MEN and the ladies were eternally grateful because they were tired. So after pushing myself as hard as possible lifting, then again in spin class I think I EARNED my meal . . . I rushed home and enjoyed a BIG plate of kale & chick breast w/a some sweet potatoes (gotta replenish those carbs expended during that workout). I will now kick my feet up, get back to work and when my next meal rolls around in 3hrs I yet again do "something" to earn it. Since I've done a gazillion pushups & abs just recently I'll probably do body squats or lunges or whatever else I can think of but I will do SOMETHING in order to "Work(out) 4 Food"!!!

 Much Love . . .
KQ~

Question & Answer Session 2day!!

Well hey ya'll . . . I hope all is well in your world today and that ya'll have some fun stuff planned for your mom's & yourselves this weekend. I have something fun planned . . . doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! LOLOL I'm exhausted from the ripping & running I've been doing so I think I'm just gonna rest and work on my bootcamps for next week at the gym :) I'm such a nerd I know but hey I get relaxation and enjoyment outta doing what I love.
Sooooooooo onto today's topic which really isn't a topic at all, it's actually a Question & Answer Session. I'm doing this today for several reasons . . .1) I kinda didn't have a topic in mind 2) I wanted to do a kinda get to know me where I came from msg again and 3) I got lucky enough for a fan to request all the information so why not GRANT her request for answers by sharing'em with ya'll too. With that being said here goes . . . below you will find the message that Anita posted on the Fanpage yesterday asking all kinds of good questions:

hi K, the folks in our boot-camp class this morning was curious about your journey, hope you don't mind me asking several questions. 1. how long? 2. how were you when you got started? 3. what was/is your diet? 4. how many hours per day did you committed to changing in your body? 5. did you ever drink alcohol? if so, when did you stop...? 6. how much weight did you drop per month? Again, WOW!!! I heard you had a baby? is that true? how old is your baby? I have 2 girls of my own, its difficult to find time to workout sometimes. I'm 200 pounds, i do work out 3-4 times per week, i usually eat right, have 2 small children, and almost 50 years old. what advice do you have for me? My goal is to drop 70 lbs...Thanks!

Okkkkkkkkkk ya'll so here are my answers:

1. How long? a few pounds did come off on their own after the baby but NOT A LOT!! It took me about 18-20months to drop 70lbs. This was due to lack of focus, plateaus, frustration and everything else you can think of!! The remaining weight has come off progressively over time  because the saying "the last 10lbs are the hardest to loose is TRUE (to some degree)!!" My body found a place it was comfortable at and could easily live with the way I was eating & training. So to make my body flip the switch I had to shock it and make some changes by STEP OUTTA MY COMFORT ZONE!! That resulted in smaller weight loss successes BUT more IMPORTANTLY I was RESHAPING MY BODY which is what was REALLY changing the game!! With that being said for the TOTAL 100LBS took about 5yrs. I know it seems like a long time but this is a MARATHON not a SPRINT!!
2. How were you when you started? After the baby I was between 240-250lbs give or take depending on the day. By the time I was FED UP and truly committed myself to my weight loss I was maybe 220-225lbs
3. What is/was your diet? OOOOOOOOOOK here comes the question that is literally & figuratively the MEAT & POTATOES of this journey!! This is also a TRICKY question, so here goes . . . .As I've shared with ya'll before I am a self admitted COMPUTER NERD . . . 1) b/c that's what my job is & 2) I'm addicted to information and knowledge. So I grabbed my computer & my laptop oh so many years ago and I FLOODED myself with information on nutrition, eating properly, weight loss, etc. As I've also shared I was a Collegiate Athlete so I knew about working out but not so much about eating right. But I remembered a Coach I had who used to try to give me nutritional insight and as fate would have it I had some info she'd given me to look over. I learned about eating my 4-5+ small meals a day and how that HELPS your metabolism, when to eat what, types for foods to incorporated & to COMPLETELY remove from my diet. With that being said I immediately went to eating 5 meals a day which all included protein, carbs & veggies (except for breakfast).  As time went on and I gained more knowledge this changed slightly here & there but I STILL eat 5+ meals a day. Nothing there has changed because that is the Gospel and its here to stay!! I still eat my proteins, carbs & veggies BUT in different combination's.  Now my CURRENT diet (right this exact minute) is geared towards my competitions so it is not what would suggest for ya'll. Again this Blog is NOT about promoting competing, that's just something I have chosen to do for myself. It's about promoting regular everyday weight loss. We will cover the EATS part of this journey more in depth in the VERY near future because it is a VERY INTEGRAL part of this equation to ensure a healthy & successful weightloss
4. How many hours per day did you commit to changing your body? OOOOOOOOK another MEAT & POTATOES question . . .I will again letcha know I am an "All or Nothing" person so once I committed myself I was COMMITTED!! Now that doesn't mean I spent every waking moment in the gym or that I do now because I don't!! Like I told ya'll earlier on the Michael Baisden Show initially all I could do was WALK and that's exactly what I did EVERYDAY. I started off with 30min then mapped out a 3mile path through my neighborhood and I would walk that for however long it took me to get it done. Once I could get moving & stay moving without hurting I purchased The Firm and started working out at home and those workouts were about 30min - 1hr depending on what it was. I also kept walking because I was doing that during lunch to clear my mind from the nonsense of the folks I hafta deal with!! Then one day I just said enough is ENOUGH and I joined the gym again. LAWD HAVE MERCY lemmi tell ya!! For starters I'd go laaaaaaaaaaaate at night so no one I knew would see me and I could barely do 5min on the elliptical without dying. But I stuck with it and I would push myself to do 20min on the elliptical, treadmill (walking) & bike. As the journey progressed how & when I worked out & how long I trained all changed based on what I was trying to do. I will say however on average I spend (even now) 1-1.5hr working out and sometimes that's broken into 2 sessions: 1) Cardio & 2) Lifting, I also have days where I just do 30-45min cardio and that's it. Now when I'm prepping for a show that obviously increases because again I'm going for a different goal. 
5. Did you ever drink alcohol? If so, when did you stop? WHEWWWWWWWWW LAWD LEMMI TELL YA. . . .Did I drink?!?! Prior to getting preggers I was a drinker and I partied and hung out on the regular and drank alcohol every time my foot stepped out the door. Currently NO I DO NOT DRINK AT ALL!! I stopped drinking for about 5yrs and when I started again it put several pounds back on me and I IMMEDIATELY STOPPED!! IF I drink anything now it is a sip for a celebration because I have NO tolerance and LC ain't trying to hear me getting twisted. Now I will say this . . .DRINKING WAS A BIG part of my weight gain and a lot of peoples weight gain if you ask me. Alcohol slows your metabolism down for a substantial amount of time. The reason why I say "substantial" amount of time and not a definite number is because folks debate about it all the time, but I would say for sure somewhere between 24-48hrs you could expect slower metabolism after what I will call moderately heavy drinking (by that I mean more then 1 or 2 glasses of wine. . . I'm talking bout GETTING YO DRINK ON!! Which let's be honest MOST folks do because its easy to put back 2, 3 or 4 beer, wine & mixed drinks in a night out with friends and depending on what you're drinking and your tolerance feel no effects of it.
6. How much weight did you drop per month? I honestly have NO IDEA!! I am sooooo sorry about this one. I kept up with it to some degree and I have it documented somewhere but since my move from Charlotte to Connecticut I have organized myself into confusion so I gotta dig it up for you and I promise I will!!
7. I heard you had a baby? Is this True? How old is your baby?  YESSSSSSSSSSS I HAVE A BABY!! But let her tell it she's NO baby anymore, but as ya'll know she will Always & Forever be my BABY!! My daughter is 6yrs old and a total Joy & Blessing 

Me (KQ) & My baby girl (KZ) after her 1st bath

Me & Mini Me knocked out!!

 

 

 

Me & KZ @ her 1st day of school

Me & KZ @ my 1st show this year. She was SOOOOO PROUD OF ME!! Btw that's my mom back there sipping away on her beverage LOL!!

Hopefully I've answered all your questions to the BEST of my ABILITY!! I apologize for the length but I have a tendency to be long winded & to tell the WHOLE STORY LOLOL!! If you have any additional questions to go along with my answers to the ones you asked above please feel free to comment and I will do my best to answer those too. 

Again Thank You All SOOOOOOOOO MUCH for liking my fanpage and following me on the blog. I greatly appreciate it and I hope you enjoy all I that I have to offer and TOGETHER WE WILL MAKE A CHANGE!!!

As always wishing ya'll much success & blessings in your endeavors . . . 

Love KQ~

Work, Fitness, Family & Life Balancing Act . . .

For starters let me begin by saying OHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW I FEEL BLESSED!! What is currently in motion now is what I have prayed & worked for over many many years!!! The Lord has been good to me and I Thank Him for it EVERYDAY!! I am a VERY humble person and right now it's just unbelievable to me the impact I'm having on people I don't even know. It's such a blessing & a wonderful thing it just brings me to tears at the mere thought. . . also I'd like to Thank All of ya'll for listening to my crazy ramblings on the Michael Baisden Show!! For all ya'll who know me ya'll know I am completely off the chains and Free until I'm Fool sometimes. When it comes to this journey I am an open book and I have no problem letting my guard down and revealing it ALL to ya'll. . . . so with that being said lemmi get off my emotional soapbox and get to the reason for the topic of this blog.

As most of ya'll know Fitness isn't my bread & butter (yet), I have a full-time job that I'm still working in conjunction with my Personal Training aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Competition Prep. YEAHHHHHHHHHH I know it sounds like a lot and honestly it is because to add to that I have a family to take care off too :) Well over these last few days I have totally become overwhelmed and realized I need to immediately enact a Work, Fitness, Family & Life Balancing Act to ensure 1) no one or nothing gets neglected 2) I don't go crazy in the process 3) my family nor ya'll throw me to the wolves for not being able to provide you everything you need & require from me. Remember on the Baisden Show I said . . . Self First NOT Selfish!!! By that I mean. . .you HAVE to take care of yourself first (mentally, physically, spiritually, etc) in order to be able to take care of anyone or anything else!! If you don't everything will fall apart including YOU and we just can't have that now can we!! Sooooooooo today while I was in spin class I started thinking to myself its time it's time to enact a PLAN and stick to it!!

Well here's the PLAN. . . Thankfully my job offers a program where you can take extra vacation time and I decided it would be beneficial for me to participate in this program. And I actually decided this waaaaaaaay before things started rolling like they are now so ya'll know I'm glad I made that choice :)  Starting in June I'll be working an abbreviated weekly work schedule which will allow me to 1) spend more time with my family - AKA my pumpkin Kyndal & LC during the Summer  2) devote more time to building my personal training business & building my fitness/spokes model career 3) log tooooooooons of man hours being an Ambassador for Weightloss and helping each & every one of you in any facet that I can when it comes to reaching whatever goals you may have regarding your health & fitness!!

I am TRULY one of those people who tries to do it all and I recognize that in myself. And anything that I do or put my mind to I do it to the fullest (as you can see by the tremendous weight loss I experienced). Now knowing and understanding these things I also know & understand I have to balance them all to be sure they are all completed successfully. Another thing you'll hear me say a lot and you'll prolly get sick of it but Oh To The Well . . . If you Fail to Plan then Plan to Fail and I ain't Planning on no Failure anytime soon, so here's my schedule . .

Monday, Wednesday & Friday:
Work on anything related to Fitness

• Training clients
• Working on things for the Fanpage, Blog, Website, etc - which will include but not limited to: workout & cooking videos, workout plans, nutrition plans, video taped question & answer sessions, my story or what I'm currently going thru (along with featuring the story of others) and anything else ya'll want insight on
• Basically HELP as many people and do as much that I can related to Health & Fitness in 1 day

Tuesday & Thursday:
WORK FULLTIME JOB!!! Limited access to Fanpage, Blog, etc so I can focus on keeping my bread & butter until the Lord sees fit for me to move onto Bigger & Better things
Saturday:
I will dedicate a few hours in the early AM to do all the things related to Health & Fitness that I did on Mon, Wed & Friday then it's off to be with the Fam!!
Sunday:
TOTALLY A ME & MY FAMILY DAY!!! Very little interaction on Facebook or my blog outside of reading and catching up on what I need to do on Monday.
I hope in setting up this schedule I'm not neglecting ya'll or anything I'm just going to hafta do it this way to ensure everything continues to run like a well oiled machine!! Soooooooo come tomorrow its ON & POPPIN. . . . so ya'll better hold on to the seat of your pants cause I'm hitting the ground running EARLY tomorrow!!
As always Much Love & Success to all of ya'll
KQ~

Ready, Set, Gooooooooo!!!

That's right . . . Tomorrow is the BIG DAY again!!
Now just a little history . . . last year this time I was competing in my very 1st show and it was this exact same one which is why I HAD to compete in it again this year. Last year however I was in the fitness model category which was fine but now I'm where I belong which is FIGURE baby!!!

here's a pic from last years show (4/2010)

And just to recap last year as always I wanted to win but my main goal was Top 10 and I achieved that by placing 8th. I was happy with that and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I learned a lot, I met a lot of great people and the fire was lit in my belly!! I honestly don't normally talk weight or anything like that except the fact of the total weight I've lost in this journey but I will share that I went into this show between 153-155ish which was AIIIIIIIIIIIGHT but NOT acceptable on any level if I was really trying to make my mark.

pic from 4/16/2010 show

For the show that just passed on the 16th I was the Leanest & Meanest I've ever been and walked on stage at an AWESOMELY SMOKING 143-145lbs. I felt GREAT, I looked GREAT & the outcome was GREAT!! Ya'll know as always I wanted to win but Top 5 was the plan and again I had another SUCCESSFUL mission and placed 5th. I still have lots to learn and was given great advice from my trainer who has been a complete God Send!! I have listened to him 100% and stuck to the plan and have been more then PLEASED with the results. So I know if I keep sticking with him and doing as I'm told I will continue to see the results on and off the stage that I desire.
With that being said lets talk about this show and were I'm coming in at . . . HOLD YOUR HATS FOR THIS ONE . . . As of this AM I weighed in at

140 lbs

WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?! Ya'll betta act like you know!! Who would've ever thought?!?! NOT ME!! I made myself several promises when I started this journey almost 6yrs ago that I wanted a better body then I had when I was a teenager and NOW I HAVE IT and I WORKED FOR IT!! I'm just so overcome with emotions I can't even begin to explain it to ya'll. There are times when I think back I can just cry for the sake of crying because I was DELIVERED from being overweight!! Heck even when I thought I was "right" I was "wrong" LOLOL! I so hate the word I'm about to use but it's all so "surreal" to me. I saw this body in my mind but I never thought I'd attain it or better yet I didn't know how or if it was even possible for me to attain it.
So now we approaching another Showtime and like normal I WANNA WIN!! And without a shadow of doubt I believe I have exactly what it takes to make that possible but there's always a goal which is Top 3 this time and I know I'm rocking a Top 3 body. With that being said I'm going to go out there tomorrow and present to them with my physique in the BEST WAY I know how and the cards will fall where they may. Regardless of the outcome I want ya'll to know I'm already a WINNER!!! So with that being said I'm going to wrap this blog up and get ready to get my tan and rest for the remainder of the day. . . As always I LOVE YA'LL & Thank Ya'll from the bottom of my heart for all the support and kind words. I'll keep ya posted on the progress of the day and I'll post links to the site where you can watch it live.
KQ

I'm NOT the Big Girl they said I was . . .

I'm sure MANY of you will be able to relate to what I'm about to say today and why I'm saying it, but. . .

I'M NOT THE BIG GIRL THEY SAID I WAS!!!

So why am I saying this and where'd it come from all of a sudden. Well those answers are pretty dern simple, you see what had happened was (LOLOL) . . . This morning LC had to be up at like 4:30am for work (odd for him to have to be the one waking up early instead of me, but it was his turn for a change). So when he got up I turned on the TV and there was some fitness infomercial on (don't get me to lying cause I don't remember which one?!?!). While I was partially awake and listening to the infomercial this lady says "I'm NOT the Big Girl they always said I was". WOWOWOW!! At that exact moment I woke up (briefly) and listened to her because I could totally relate. To give you a little background history I am the youngest by 9+ years of 2 girls. My older sister was a model and she was the ISH on the runway & in pics (still is. . . she will serve it up on the runway like none other). So obviously she was Tall & Uber Thin & HAWT and as I grew up I was the Bigger one. Now I'm sure my friends and family meant nothing by it but when I would say I wanted a haircut like hers or to wear something or whatever I'd hear . . . "Oh you can't do that because. . .your necks too big, you're too muscular, you're the Bigger one, etc". So hearing that I grew up always thinking I was the Big Girl and that was that. 

Needless to say I was in shape through high school and college for the most part but still I was BIGGER. Bigger then my mom, my sister, my friends heck everyone except for the few chicks who were taller than me and even they were slender in comparison to me. But hey it was no biggie I accepted it and kept it moving. As I got older I was that "Thick Chick", "Dragging a Wagon", "Big Seat" and all other names folks could think of to describe me and again I accepted it because that's who I was Right?!?!? Well once I hit 245lbs I felt for sure everyone was right but I was so uncomfortable & UNHAPPY. . . so were they Right about me or not?!?!

NO THEY WERE WRONG. . . I wasn't that person and I quickly found it out as I started my weight loss journey! As I began to shed the weight I started seeing The REAL Me then I really became confused because now the person whom I thought I was, whom I had been told I was, whom I'd even seen in the mirror previously was NOT real!! This was the REAL me. . .long, lean, fit, fabulous & FIERCE! Despite recognizing this new person and trying my best to enjoy her I still DIDN'T ACCEPT IT!! I still saw myself with my FAT mind. I shopped (and still shop) with my Fat mind, I look down at my legs or my body and my FAT mind tells me it's something different then I really know it is. I am HONESTLY admitting that only RECENTLY, and when I say recently I mean in the last few days after looking at pics of myself from the show, do I TRULY see myself as that LONG, LEAN, FIT, FABULOUS & FIERCE chick who's been living inside of me for 34 years. 

All of this is to say . . . PLEASE BE COGNIZANT of what you're saying to people because after hearing something about yourself for so long you start to believe it and make it true!! Because I know how this feels first hand I am very aware of what I say to my daughter and how I praise her continuously. I let her know that she's Gawgeous, Smart, Funny, Perfectly Built and anything else I can think of to keep her from having delusional ideals of who she REALLY is!! This is a painful struggle and I know I make light of it and joke around on a continuous basis but that doesn't mean this situation doesn't TORMENT sometimes. And that is one of the main reasons why I blog and talk to you all about it because it allows me to release myself of this emotional baggage that has plagued me so I can move one & GROW as a person and hopefully help someone else either overcome the same thing or keep them from going thru the same thing. So on that note I will bid you farewell and get back to work and say as always I Love's Ya'll and I'll talk to ya soon!!

KQ

I've got Triple D's!!!

. . . . Ummmmmmmmm don't get excited because I'm not talking about the show or "The Girlz" LOL!!
But don't get me wrong though I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Diners, Drive-ins & Dives aka Triple D and I'd LOVE some "Girlz" hehehe, but that's not what we're talking about today!!
Today's Triple D's are . . .

DETERMINATION, DRIVE & DISCIPLINE

This has been a very long & ongoing journey for me and I could've never been or will never be successful without these VERY important and basic Triple D's!! Now let's take these 3 D's and break'em down based on their definitions and see where I fit in and think about where you fit into those definitions too. .

DETERMINATION can be defined as . . .

1. Firmness of purpose; resolutness - Well I don't think there's any question that I have a Firmness of purpose & a resolutness in the direction of which I plan to go! About 6yrs ago I decided what it was that I wanted to do in terms of my health & wellness and also in the fitness industry. And I have been working diligently towards that goal/purpose since then! Just because I had a purpose in mind it did not in any way, shape or form come together over night!! It's taken continued focus and work to just get on the road to where I belong cause I have YET to achieve the BIG goal but we're headed in the right direction. . . 
2. The process of establishing something exactly, typically by calculation or research - OHHHHHH the words calculation & research are 2 that those around me will tell you I've done and still do extensively!! I'm online daily researching the industry, workouts, EATS and anything else I can think of in relation to my goals & this journey. I feel like KNOWLEDGE is KEY so I'm going to flood myself with as much of it that my lil brain can hold then I'll put the rest on layaway for later so I can squeeze it all in, hehehe!!
3. A tendency to move in a fixed direction - I mean c'mon seriously . . . ya'll know this is me ALL DAY/EVERYDAY!! I am NOT wavering from the direction in whence I want to go for ANYTHING!! Now that doesn't mean my personal or professional life outside of fitness has to suffer cause it doesn't. Even though the direction I'm moving in will ULTIMATELY benefit my family and my life I can't let my determination to get there invade or interrupt their lives any more then it has to because that just wouldn't be fair. They want this for me BUT this isn't their Dream its MINE so I have to remember that daily

DRIVE can be defined as. . .

1. A strong organized effort to accomplish a purpose - Listen I suffer from the BIG "O" when I'm not running on zero energy. The BIG "O" is ORGANIZATION and I'm all about it and I feel like you can't be successful without some sort of organization. Because how can you get there (wherever there is) IF you haven't organized & devised a plan to make it happen. Like I always say . . . If you FAIL to PLAN then you PLAN to FAIL!! I may let some other things around me fall to the waist side when I start running on empty but I'm gonna tell you what won't fall to the waist side and that's my planning & preparation for my workouts & Eats!!
2. Energy, push, or aggressiveness - These 3 words are what you see in the dictionary next to Kenisha :) If I am nothing I am FOR SURE 100% ENERGETIC & AGGRESSIVE when it comes to accomplishing goals and achieving whatever I set my mind to!! 

DISCIPLINE (Self-Discipline) can be defined as. . .

1. Training that one gives oneself to accomplish a certain task or to adopt a particular pattern of behavior, even if one would rather be doing something else - OH MY LAWD!! If I'm not disciplined then I dunno who is?!?! If there is any 1 thing about this journey that's hard its sometimes the DISCIPLINE when it comes to the EATS!! I truthfully don't suffer from cravings anymore which is a huge accomplishment in itself. Don't get me wrong I want to EAT things that aren't currently on my meal plan BUT they're honestly not bad things at all and are pretty much considered healthy & borderline clean. Or I have desires to eat more of things I'm allowed to have just not in the quantities that I desire like my sweet potatoes :) But what's the hardest is disciplining myself to eat some of the stuff that I'm not accustomed to or honestly don't like. Funny thing about that is after training (forcing LOL) myself to eat these things they slowly became some of my favorites . . .like oatmeal & asparagus. However I can tell you one thing that I will NEVER EVER enjoy (at least in the fashion that I have to eat it) is Cream of Rice. In the name of Sweet Baby Jesus!! Now if it doesn't take DISCIPLINE & borderline INSANITY for me to eat that stuff I wouldn't be able to choke it down. BUT. . . I buckle down and I discipline myself to do it for the few meals because I know what I want to accomplish and unfortunately this God forsaken nasty stuff will get me there!

Now that you've had a chance to read about my Triple D's and their definitions and how I feel like they apply to me, I now want you to evaluate yourself & your goals (whatever they may be) against these Triple D's and see if you measuring up!!
ANYTHING WORTH HAVING IS WORTH WORKING FOR and you should always remember that!! So you may have to make some sacrifices by burning the midnight oil then waking up again the next morning before the chickens. You may have to deny yourself what you "think" are needs (pleasures) when instead they're just wants (desires) that one can live without until the ultimate goal is reached. So whatever your goal maybe are you putting forth your BEST & BIGGEST Triple D's cause I know I am!! As always Love Ya'll and much success in EVERY endeavor you set your mind to!!
KQ

7 days and counting . . . AGAIN!!

This past week was FULL of FUN & EXCITEMENT!!
As you already know last week ended with a WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE at the WBFF Fitness Atlantic show where I placed 5th in my 1st Figure Tall competition!! I want to honestly say I couldn't have asked for anything more because come from whence I came and actually being up there and BELONGING was the GREATEST reward ever, getting the medal was just the Icing on the Cake!!
Now we're prepping for Show #2 Fitness Universe New England Championship at the Mohegan Sun. This was my very 1st show ever last year and it too was a GREAT experience. BTW (by the way) if you'd like to share in the experience with me you can watch LIVE & FOR FREE by clicking here on Saturday, April 30th. It'll also be broadcast on ESPN3 starting @ 12pm.

Kyndal & MeMe (aka my mom Deloris) painting pottery

So anyway back to last week . . . my mom finally got a chance to come visit me in Connecticut and she had a GREAT time!! Kyndal & I took her this place & that place, we did paint your own pottery ,  shopped for things for the house (more specifically Kyndal's room), we went to NYC for the day (which was crazy hectic due to the holiday) and then I took her to Rhode Island. Needless to say we all had a FULL WEEK!! I've been rather tired because I was getting up really early in the AM and working out, then coming home and prepping breakfast for everyone then hitting the streets for the day then back home every night for dinner and another workout if I needed it. I was literally passing out wherever my butt landed LOL. My mom "partially" understands what I'm doing and why I'm doing it but I didn't want to take away fun time with her & Kyndal for my own selfish need to prepare for this next show so I just had to do what I had to do. Now that doesn't mean I wasn't still working hard and trying to stay disciplined because I was and lemmi tell you it was HARD!! As ya'll already know my mom is the Designer & Builder of The House that Snacks Made as you can see from the picture below. This is just a snapshot from her house on one of my visits home. She wholeheartedly believes in Buy1Get1Free!! LOL

With that being said she came loaded down with SNACKS for her trip. I mean but it was smart because that way she didn't have to buy anything on the train. OHHHHHHHHH YEAH. . .did I fail to mention she rode the train here. LAWD JESUS HELP HER LOLOL!! I thought driving the 12+ hours from SC/NC to CT was a killer, well lemmi tell ya that train ride was like 17hrs. But Oh Well. .  .that's what she wanted to do and I accommodated her wish but I did explain to her next trip she's flying cause I don't have time for the complaining that went on for 2 days after she arrived about how tired she was from the ride.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuut back to the subject at hand . . . 7 days till SHOWTIME . . . AGAIN!! I have been worried all week that my visit with my trainer was going to yield poor results but needless to say True to Form my worrying was WASTED ENERGY!! My weight was down, my BF% (body fat percentage) and my body was looking better this time going into show prep week then last time. I'm NOT sure how that's possible but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. So I got my PLAN from the Best Trainer/Coach ever (aka Kevin Topka) and he gave me very positive and constructive criticism from last weeks show. He showed me little things that I did wrong and things I did right and things we're going to work on for the June show in Boston, MA to ensure contention for PRO STATUS!!  Thankfully I've done the hard part which was drop the weight. HECK I had no idea I had that much to drop or that I would look so different but I'm glad I did it and I LOVE how I look and I'm ready to bring it together and get that much deserved PRO CARD!!
I gotta make this one a quick one because 1) I'm unfortunately not feeling super witty today because I have a slight headache due to my contacts bothering me earlier this week so I've been back and forth between wearing nothing & wearing my glasses. And 2) I hafta prepare for LC's return from Spain tomorrow so that mean's cooking him his favorite meals and grocery shopping for the "basics" that he likes to have at the house that were so kindly eaten up by his buddy Kyndal & my mom. As always I LOVE YA'LL & THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART for all the kind words of encouragement and congratulations that I received. They meant the world to me and I will NEVER forget it and I'm going to go out there again next week and do it for ya'll again!!
KQ

**UPDATE** A lil late but . . .WHAT AN AWESOME EXPERIENCE!!!

Hey Ya'll I know I'm a lil late with this post and I intended to do it Sunday but I was BEAT, then wanted to do it yesterday but my mom's here visiting and we spent all day out and about shopping for Ms Kyndal's Big Girl Room. So here we are I'm finally getting a minute to myself to write this blog . . .

Saturday was ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!

I started the day off on a high because I couldn't even sleep until time for my alarm to go off LOL!! I was up @ 530am and decided to start working on my hair and makeup which turned out FLAWLESS!! Now ya'll who really know me know I've never been a huge makeup wearer but I'm getting much better. But let me tell you some foolishness that happened while I was getting ready. . . So I brought my chair from my bedroom into the bathroom so I can sit and give my legs a rest and I got up to look closely in the mirror and didn't realize I pushed the chair back. Wellllllllllllllll need I say more?!?! I went to sit back down and BAM, I fell and hit my bootay on that hard a$$ tiled bathroom floor. OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I knew at the time that in the days to come this was going to come back to bite me in the ARSE literally and it has!!! My tailbone is KILLING ME, but I'm just putting it outta my mind and moving on.

Now about the actual SHOW. . . it was THE BEST EXPERIENCE EVER!!!
For starters if I haven't mentioned it yet I PLACED IN THE TOP 5 (5th place to be exact) and that was a HUGE achievement for me. This is technically my 2nd show & my 1st time competing in Figure and I felt so confident about my body and how I presented myself. I have never been so proud of myself and felt an adrenaline rush like that even though it was physically taxing LOL!! Now one mentioned how you'd feel like you've been in a fight when you hold poses & try to keep looking pretty at the same time LOL. And I don't care how "dehydrated" I was, sweat was still trying to flow because those lights were HOT as ALL outdoors. . . Whewwww Jesus! But again I pushed through it and GAVE IT ALL I HAD.

sorry its blurry but it was a Blackberry camera?!?!

  Another thing that made the day so wonderful was sharing it with my girl Madalena who competed in Bikini and totally ROCKED IT. She rocked it so much so to where she won her PRO CARD!!! She was absolutely flawless and really SERVED it up and was rightfully awarded for doing so. After I came off stage all I could do was get dressed and stand backstage cheering for her and crying along with her over her success. Just to let ya'll know (if you already didn't) I am one of those people who REALLY & TRULY wants the best for those I care for and I'm behind them 100% when they want something. If you want a Cheerleader then you WANT ME cause I will keep the momentum going like none other!! And speaking of Cheerleader I was fortunate enough to have a WONDERFUL one myself named Carmen. Now lemmi tell ya a little about Carmen . . . she's actually my training & cardio buddy. We have been supporting each other mentally & physically through this entire journey and trust me it has benefited the both of us tremendously. On a side note she & I will be competing together at the Fitness New England Championships and we're going to ROCK IT!!
There weren't any sour notes to mention for the show weekend, the only SAD thing was LC couldn't attend because he had to travel to Spain for work (which is much more important) so I've really gotta bring it next weekend so he can see me win!! He is SOOOOOOOOOO SUPPORTIVE and pushes me all the time even though I drive him nuts sometimes LOL!! So now its onto Show #2 as I mentioned a lil while ago and I just have 11 more days left. I'm mentally & physically ready but I will confess I'm a little WORN OUT!! Thankfully I'm on vacation from both my full-time and part-time jobs so I can focus on my family & myself as I get ready for Round 2.

Love ya'll & talk to ya tomorrow cause a girl is TIRED!!
KQ

uhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh . . . I need to UPDATE this blog because how could I talk about the day without mentioning a new fitness friend Fleur De Kine. She and I were privileged enough to meet during WBFF posing workshops that were held leading up to the show and she is a TRIP!! She also kept me calm & LAUGHING the entire time and as you see from the picture we were hamming it up for sure. She is an AWESOME competitor and has a GREAT spirit!! I really enjoyed getting to know her more & spending the day with her. I'm sure they'll be many more shows and events for us to hang at and have fun like we did this time!! Wishing her MUCH success with the remainder of her competition season cause she's going to do GREAT things!!
KQ

THE DEVIL IS A LIAR . . . 3 days & counting

I know today's blog title is a bit confusing but I'm going to explain it . . . .

Let me preface this by saying I LOVE MY FRIENDS & FAMILY UNCONDITIONALLY but if you're not with me then GET THE H*LL OUTTA MY WAY because I'm rising to the top and NOTHING will STOP me!!

So now onto the reason for the title. Yesterday I got in my car to go to the gym, got to the light and someone tld me I had a flat tire. . . I think to myself "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW that's all I need". So I turn around and come home and LC (who is the sweetest) is pulling in at the same time and we go check the tire and fill it up and realize its a slow leak so I make plans to go handle it later. Needless to say I'm still VERY frustrated at this point because something has occurred to try and distract me, but I decide I'll just sit in silence for a minute then move one. Well while I'm sitting here I pull up my Facebook and start reading my notifications and to my SURPRISE I have a message telling that I'M A WINNER!!

WHAT?!? HUH?!? WHO ME?!?!

Yeppers I won a contest and not one where they pull you name out of a hat, instead it was a Facebook contest that 6 Pack Fitness had where they requested fitness pictures and a little explanation to go with it. 

Here's the picture I submitted along with my story explaining the before and after. . . . and they PICKED me as a WINNER!! I was immediately thrown into a better mood because the Lord was letting me know that what he's been telling me is TRUE, that I am a WINNER and VICTORY is mine!! LC was very happy for me along with my sister & my friends. Here's where the foolishness comes in. Now like I said earlier I LOVE my friends & family unconditionally BUT sometimes certain people can really TAKE ME THERE!! 

I called my mom this AM to tell her the Good News about my win and she IMMEDIATELY has something negative to say!?!? I mean who knows where something so simple as a Facebook contest win could go. Instead of seeing that she starts talking negative and after 2-3 words out of her mouth I politely tell her GOODBYE and hang up the phone because I can't let that negativity into my life and my preparation!! Again I will say I LOVE my mom and would do anything for her and I know she'd do anything for me. . . BUT I have to be honest . . . through this entire journey she has been LESS than supportive. I know she wants me to be successful in my endeavors and I also know everyone doesn't understand why I do what I do and I can respect that. With that being said you can at least be happy for me when I celebrate a victory no matter how small or confusing that victory may be to you its a VICTORY to me!! 

The reason I'm writing this is to RELEASE myself of these demons that I know have been holding me back because after winning yesterday I said "Why Me". For some reason the less than positive support that I've received over the years has left me with "issues" when it comes to certain things and thinking I'm "WORTHY" sometimes is a problem for me. I will admit that I'm getting much better with this because I AM WORTHY!! If I Trust & Believe in the Lord and what he's been laying on my spirit then I have to know & believe I AM WORTHY!! So with that I will end this and release these thoughts from my mind because. . . .

VICTORY IS MINE SO SAITH THE LORD!!!!

KQ. . . 

5 Days & Counting . . . .

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh BUDDY!! We are in the final stretch for Show #1 for 2011, sooooooo here goes my favorite saying

LET'S GET IT!!!

Well if I haven't mentioned my plans for the season let me go ahead and take a brief minute to do that now. This the Lord has BIG PLANS for me and I'm just following his directions. So part of those plans include participating in several shows, really throwing myself into my fitness career & spending time with (and building) my family. 

Now let's tackle the first thing I mentioned which are my shows. I'm planning to do 5 (maybe 6) shows this year and they are as follows:

APRIL

April 16th: WBFF Fitness Atlantic

April 30th: FAP New England Championship

MAY

I really don't plan on doing anything because this year we'll be celebrating LC's 40th Birthday and that's HUGE so I want all my focus on that. But don't get it twisted I will be seriously maintaining my physique because per LC's repeated suggestion (harassment, LOL) I'm doing a few photoshoots.

JUNE

June 25th: WBFF Eastern US Championship

JULY

Again nothing BIG planned but I may participate in some events at the Europa Battle of Champions here in Hartford, CT. There's going to be a HUGE expo and some other events going on so no worries I've been diligently working on getting myself involved in some form or fashion :) So I'll keep ya'll posted on that

AUGUST

August 13th: FAP Carolina Championship (this is a maybe)

August 27th: WBFF World Championships!!

I'm REALLY excited about participating in the WBFF Federation and I really want to involve myself in as many events with them as possible because I see BIG things on the horizon with them.

NOVEMBER

November 5th: WBFF New England Championship. . . This show is a MUST b/c it's being put on by my trainer Kevin Topka who is THE BOMB DIGGITY!! He has gotten this bullheaded chick on the right path and I know he will keep me there.

Now I know that's a hectic competition season but I think its perfectly spread out to keep me going and I've got a strategic plan to function at a new maintenance weight which is going to mean a World of Difference for me from here on out. And on top of all of this I'll be spending more time dedicated to my blog & building my business. As I told ya'll previously I am INSANELY thinking of and creating recipes for my Clean/Healthy Eats which is something I'm adapting from here on out. I've actually eaten very healthy for the past several years but we're going to take it a step further and clean things up. So in an attempt to do that I'm flooding myself with an abundance of information regarding certain ways of eating so I can create a plan that will work well for "me" and my family. In the process I will most definitely share with you my creative successes & failures, cause I'm sure there will be many of both LOLOL!! Anyway, its getting late and I'm tired and low on energy so I'm gonna do a lil more blinging on this suit then take it Doooooooooooown and call it a night :) 

Love my sweets 

KQ!!

I have a case of the 4 P's and I LOVE IT!!

Prayer

Passion

Positivity

Persistence

I'll first begin today's blog by saying . . . I have 9 days until I step on stage and STRUT MY AWESOMELY HOT STUFF and I can't wait!!! It's bout to be on and popping like a pot of neck bones (what do you expect I'm a Kuntry Girl, LOL)
Now onto the REAL subject & reason for today's blog. . . The 4 P's . . .PRAYER, PASSION, POSITIVITY & PERSISTENCE!! I am having a SEVERE case of them and I'M PROUD OF IT!!

PRAYER

I mean helloooooooooooo this one speaks for itself but I'll speak for it and on it for a brief minute. Prayer honestly & truthfully CHANGES THINGS!! When I pray I'm able to clear my mind and turn things over to God (or whomever you worship) and remove it from my hands and leave it in his. A quiet moment of prayer allows me to see things that he has for me in my future and that is why I know without a shadow of doubt Victory Is MINE!! I know now more than ever I'm walking in the path & direction he has set forth for me.

PASSION

Ohhhhhhhhhhh Boy . . . if you know me you know I am a VERY PASSIONATE person!! In life, love and any activity/endeavor I involve myself in. Listen when I do or feel something, I do it and feel it to the FULLEST . . . I'm talking the 10th Power here!! Let's take health & fitness for example, man oh man when I get to talking about my story, my journey, my desire to help others, workout or nutrition tips, etc I get FIRED UP!! It happened to me just a few days ago in the gym, I was feeling sluggish as I pushed through my workout and a new client approached me about her goals and what she's been doing and I immediately perked up and was on the rampage. Unfortunately my passion can sometimes back fire on me because I'm guilty sometimes of wanting things for people MORE than they want it for themselves and that often drives me insane. I tried to tell myself to stop feeling that way & stop taking it personal and feeling so deeply about their success but the Lord (in prayer) told me NO. . . this is who you are and its what makes you a special person. So I'm going to keep being passionate about myself & my success along with the success and happiness of those around me. And if someone has a problem with it . . . welllllllllllllll I dunno what to tell you because this is me and I will be Kenisha Q. Smith to the FULLEST at all times :)

POSITIVITY

Ya'll this is one that was VERY hard for me and that's no lie. I have been insanely guilty in the past for having not so positive thoughts. I'm not sure if they can totally be labeled negative but they for sure weren't positive. Insane amounts of self doubt & questioning one's self existed in my life. An example of that was sharing my story with you all and thinking "no one cares what I have to say, they don't wanna hear my opinions, experiences, feelings, journey, etc". Well that coulda been the furthest thing from the truth come to find out. The non-positive . . .ok we'll just call it what it is . . . The negative thoughts were even affecting my progress as I prepared for this show and the ones in the past. OHHHHHHHHHH MY!! I can't even count how often I put myself down saying I wasn't "good enough, muscular enough, lean enough, that I had no business up there with those other women" and everything else you can think of under the sun. It was so bad I was getting on my own nerves and it took a few special people (Lawrence, Kendra & Carmen) to rip me a new bootay hole and set me straight. After being torn from limb to limb by all of them I had a serious prayer session and those thoughts have been the furthest things from my mind for awhile now and I have experienced nothing but Positive results & progress since then!! So Thanks ya'll . . . I Love all of ya'll to pieces and you know it!

PERSISTENCE

Simply I can put this by saying . . . . I WON'T BE STOPPED!! I will continue pushing forward until I reach that place that has been set forth for me and I know it's within arms reach. And guess what . . . when I get there I will KEEP ON KEEPING ON and further advancing myself and challenging myself because that's what it's all about. Life is a continual mountain that you have to climb and once you reach one pinnacle/goal you set another goal and you strive until you reach it and keep going. . . If I wouldn't have done that I would've never experienced the success I have to this point and I'm not just referring to the weight loss, I'm referring to every goal I've ever accomplished in my life and will accomplish. 

Well this blog has kinda extended a lil past what I expected it to but ya'll know I'm a blabber mouth so I'm sure you're NOT surprised. . . I will bid you farewell as I kick my feet up, work & relax until I have to go train my clients and workout this afternoon.

KQ

ps . . .there's an extra one that's NOT exactly a P but I made it one . . .

I'm becoming a PHOODIE

(this is the KQ way of spelling Foodie. . . 

hey why else have a blog if you can't be creative with your word creations)

I LOOOOOOOOVE TO COOK & CREATE and I love to share that with my friends and family. I won't dive too deep into this one right now because I'm working hard on trying to start dedicating a portion of my blog to EATS. . . just know some goodies are for sure on the horizon in this category!!

Love U My Sweets!!

The REASONS why I do what I do . . .

Today's blog was soooooooooo going to be about something different but thinking about my daughter (Kyndal) & LC, I was IMMEDIATELY emotionally overwhelmed and brought to tears. That's been happening a lot lately but like my good friend  Kendra says, "let the tears out because that means it more water leaving the body"!! I love that chick, she's a trip :)
Anyway back to the story/topic at hand. I do these shows for many reasons first & foremost I do them for myself and for the Discipline & the Competition aspect because I am an Athlete and I am driven by setting goals, accomplishing them and winning. In this case winning isn't necessarily defined by getting 1st place or the trophy but by beating myself every time I step foot on that stage. Each time I want to bring a Better Kenisha to the stage in every aspect . . . conditioning, presentation, poise, etc and so far so good. I just want to be a BETTER ME at all cost . . . . BUT the second reason I do this and prolly it's more like 50/50 on the reasons is my Family (Kyndal & LC).

The 2 people you see here are my HEART!! I will SACRIFICE EVERYTHING for these 2 because I love them with all my heart and I know they want the best for me. For starters my daughter Kyndal . . . OH MY LAWD, I am just in tears typing this & that's no lie. This child is a Gift from God. . . a TRUE BLESSING that I could've never imagined that would've been bestowed on me. She motivates me and pushes me to be a better person ALL THE TIME. And prepping for these shows is no different. Please let me tell you how this little 6yr old "woman" keeps me in CHECK!! On any given day she can be heard saying the following things. . .

No mommy you can't have that . . 

Mommy I'm gonna tell Lawrence if you eat that (and she tells too)

My mommy doesn't need a menu because she has her food. . . she's training for a show so WE can Win!

Look at my muscles mommy . . .I've got BIG muscles like you and I'm strong like you

and so many other things . . . 

She is the BEST cheerleader a girl could ask for! She's also a GREAT training partner! Kyndal will go to the track, the stairs, or the gym with me and she will push me, keep count, take video, etc because she wants to see her mommy do her best. When I'm tired, covered in sweat, hurting and can't go another step she rubs me on my back and tells me how GREAT of a mommy I am then gives me something to drink or eat. So when I think about that HOW COULD I NOT WANT TO BE THE BEST!! I want her to see what can happen when you put your mind to something and you work hard for it. 

Then there's LC (Lawrence). . .WOW where do I begin with him?!?! He too is a Gift from God to me because how BLESSED & FORTUNATE am I do be in Love with my BEST FRIEND?!?! This man was with me years ago when I was bigger (not my biggest, but bigger) so he's experienced both Kenisha's and he loves me just the same :) I think there was a time he may have believed in my and my success more than I did. Constantly pushing me to put myself & my story out there but I was so afraid and said "no one cares about what I have to say and what I'm doing". . . well that was the Devil talking but the Lord sent him (and several of you) to REBUKE that and show me that people do care and are moved & motivated by my continued journey. I know I drive him NUTS sometimes but without a shadow of a doubt he sees What & Who I could be in this industry and please believe he pushes me like none other sometimes. All I can hear is . . . "did you email this person, did you call that person, when are you going to schedule a photoshoot, when are you going to start training clients and the list goes on. He was always someone who worked out but now he pushes even harder and when he noticed the major changes in himself I saw a fire spark and then he said the ultimate thing. . . ."I want to eat CLEAN with you next week while I'm home". Ya'll just don't know?!?!? I coulda dropped to my knees and kissed this man's feet but uhhhhhhhhh we won't be doing that LOL. . . the most he'll get is a foot rub (there's one waiting for you when you get home babes) LOLOL! But seriously it was that big of a deal and it made my week flow smoothly & successfully! 

Soooooooo when you are wondering why I do these things, why I put myself thru what appears to be agony, why I push so hard and won't give up now you know. I want to be #1 not only for me but for THEM! I want to be the AWESOME Woman & Mother they believe I am, I want to be successful in my every endeavor so I can provide them the luxuries in life. I want them to see what hard work, determination, discipline and their belief in me will produce. Again I tell you I love these 2 people with my whole heart and there's NO sacrifice that's too great to ensure their happiness which in turn makes me happy!! So I'm gonna dry my tears and get back to work. . . . I just wanted to share this tidbit of info with ya'll :)

KQ

p.s. 12 DAYS TILL LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!

Let the countdown begin . . . T-minus 15 days

Competition season is OFFICIALLY UNDERWAY!! With 15 days until my 1st show its time to ROCK!!

I know I have been hella quiet and that's HONESTLY NOT going to happen any longer because we're about to get this thing ROCKING & ROLLING. . . Once we're through this first competition I'm going to have some GREAT surprises for you all regarding the blog, training, workouts, recipes, and much, much more!! These posts for the next few days will be brief and mostly revolve around what I'm doing to complete my preparation and how my body is looking then we're gonna crank it up. Since I'm trying to keep my Mental Burden off my family this will be the perfect outlet for me to express what I'm going through and feeling as the BIG Event approaches.

Soooooo I'm gonna run to the gym and knock out my workout then I'll be back home blinging out my suit and I'm gonna take some pics for ya'll so you can see my 1st creation, of many I hope.

Stay Strong & Stay Focused and I'll be back in a few
KQ

P.S. . . . I've posted a ticker countdown @ the top of my blogs and I'll keep adding them as shows, events, etc come up. I'll do the same for you and whatever goals you want to work towards to.

TOGETHER WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS

On an Emotional Rollercoaster!!

I am usually the person that's always upbeat and happy who keeps everyone positive and motivated, fired up and laughing . . .BUT right now that's NOT who I am!! Currently I'm on a serious "Emotional Rollercoaster" and I want off ASAP!!

 

 

 

This is a good visual description of how my roller coaster looks

This rollercoaster  ride started Wednesday when I spent 17hrs getting from Connecticut to Dallas. It was honestly the WORST experience of my life but I handled it in stride and said I couldn't be mad because it was weather related and I tried to make lemonade out of lemons by working out, talking to people and continuing to eat clean. But knowingly the damage had be done!! Once I got to Dallas the weather went from bad to worse for them and it snowed and ya'll know they couldn't handle that so there I was basically stranded in the room but again I made the best of it by staying on top of my eats and working out. Finally the weather broke so LC & I had planned to hit the town a few nights like we did in Miami last year and have a blast . . . THAT WAS AN EPIC FAILURE!! The best part of the trip was I finally got to meet up with my friend Kendra and we had a KILLER workout, went to eat and she took me to get my beloved cocoa almonds. It was GREAT!! Unfortunately I had to fly back Sunday because that was the only day I could get a flight out and everything was going smooth until I got to D.C. and find out that United so graciously canceled my flight and I wasn't gonna get home until midnight at the earliest. Needless to say I flipped out because that meant another 7hrs in an airport. I completely lost it and went into a ranting & raving fussing & cussing fest. Then I broke down and ate some of the cocoa almonds I had in my bag and that made me feel worse about myself. And that's when the rollercoaster really took off.
Today is Tuesday and I've been crying on and off about this and that since Sunday and I'm just ready to be over it because I so hate being in these types of moods for several reasons the main one being its Counterproductive:

• what can you get accomplished when you're experiencing these highs & lows
• normally when you're experiencing highs & lows like this your stress level is high which makes your cortisol levels rise which can in turn cause you to hold more fat (so NOT good!!)
• self-doubt and all kinds of negative thoughts start creeping in . . . and that's where I'm at right now
• emotional eating (Thank God I only have clean food in my house which keeps me from consuming the wrong thing)

I so desperately want to dig myself out of this emotional rut but it's proving to be harder then usual this time around. I will admit to you all I am VERY hard on myself and set VERY high expectations and standards that I do my best to attain, so when I'm not meeting those expectations I immediately feel like a failure. Now I know deep down inside I'm not a failure and that I've come a long way in life but I want MORE for myself, is that so wrong?!? I honestly don't think so but I'm going to have to get some perspective when it comes to handling setbacks and whatever other issues arise. I will say that blogging and getting it out is one of the BEST ways for me to release myself. I honestly feel better now that I've let it out a bit and I'm going to gather myself and head out the door for an awesome workout and maybe after that I'll troll around some stores and get some visual retail therapy :) So thank you for listening and I hope to report back to you in a few days with a much better deposition because this one is CRAPPY!!


KQ (desperately trying to keep my head up)

Against All Odds!!!

Boy Oh BOY lemmi tell ya. . . yesterday was a VERY challenging and long day, but I passed with flying colors if you ask me!!
As you all already know its SuperBowl week and I headed to Dallas to spend time with LC and some of my friends down here in the Big D. Needless to say we are all pretty much being affected by this weather one way or another and yesterday was my day to be affected by it in EVERY WAY!! I initially wanted to be upset and I realized what purpose was that gonna serve. Instead I just sat back and took the entire day in stride and stuck to my original plan which included 2 major things which were 1) eating my own food and 2) getting a workout in at some point during the day. I basically decided that Against All Odds I was going to succeed!

So sit back and  lemmi give you a rundown of how the day went from start to finish, hopefully you can get a laugh out of it as I have been able to now that it's over LOLOL . . . For starters I received my first shocker when I tried to check into my flight the night before to unexpectedly find out I've been moved from my Hartford to Charlotte flight and now I'm going Hartford to Philly. . . hmmmmmmm ok can you say email or call a sista?!?! The only plus to that was the flight was later in the morning so I figured the roads would be ok, ummmmmmmm NOT! I had to de-ice my car and dig it out then slowly (10-20miles/hr) make my way to the airport. Getting checked in and to my gate was a breeze cause ALL the other flights were CANCELLED, hmmmm this didn't have me feeling very good about the situation, but they assured us we'd be getting out because we weren't flying into a city that was riddled with snow & ice. So my boarding time comes & goes and in the meantime between time a Charlotte flight lands and prepares to take off again and I ask "why wasn't I put on that one". Well they try to switch me then deliver the disturbing news that IF I take that flight my luggage WON'T be flying with me and they don't know when it'll get to Dallas, ok NO Thank You! So we wait, and Wait and WAIT!! During this waiting period I stuck to my schedule and ate my meals that I prepared. Well after I did that I was BORED and decided I would get a quick workout in since I was wearing my workout leggings and my sneakers were in my bag. Little did I know I was gonna start a trend. . . by the time it was all said and done there were 3 others working out with me :) It was soooo good to see others want to get up and get their Health & Fitness on with me.

Getting ready 2 get my workout on

My workout consisted of the following:

• Walking lunges up & down the terminal to warmup
• Dynamic Squats
• Push-ups superset w/Dips off the airport chairs
• Reverse lunges w/forward kick
• High knees
• Toe touches up & down 3 rows of airport seats
• Abs

I soooooo HATE I forgot to record this workout for ya'll. I have no idea where my mind was. . . well actually I do, it was thinking about when are we gonna get on this dern plane!! After I got all cleaned up I had another meal then went to sleep for a little while because the thoughts of mixed nuts were dancing through my head. And thankfully I gave myself that rest because before I knew it we were on the plane . . . YEAHHH!!! What really should've been an 1hr15min flight turned out to be a smidge over 2hrs, URGH!! For one we were on the tarmac forever, then we had to be de-iced and finally we took off only to experience some "In the name of Jesus turbulence". We were put in a holding pattern and it had us going around and Around and AROUND thru some awful turbulence and the entire time I was holding onto the seat saying "Jesus, Jesus, JESUS" over and over again. I was so happy to land I coulda kissed the ground but I had no time I had to run thru the Philly airport to my next gate b/c my flight was taking off in 45min. YEAH RIGHT. . . I get to my gate and the flight was moved, I get to the new gate and the flights been delayed 2.5hrs.

Lawd Have Mercy Jesus

I was just mentally out down at this point so I just walked the Philly airport for a long time looking at the shops and eventually treating myself to some retail therapy in a cute accessory store. I finally went back to my gate and began eating some of my food and noticed I was sitting around several BIG ex-football playing men and one of them was eyeballing my grub and said "WOW you packed good, I need come over there and see whatcha got cause I'm hungry". OHHHHHHHHHHHH NO!! I gave him a look as if to say "you think you've delivered and felt a hard hit on the field but you come over here and touch this food and you'll get the football hit of your lifetime! Don't mess with a sista's food after she's been stuck in the airport all dern day. Especially now that it looked like we were about to be delayed again because yet again my flight time came & went. Once that happened the drunks started acting up and causing a ruckus and we thought we weren't ever gonna get to leave but finally we were allowed to board to find ourselves sitting for another 30-45min, then the pilot informs us that the flight will take longer then normal because of the serious head winds we're flying through, URGHHHHHH I was just OUT DONE so I said my prayers and closed my eyes and slept! Finally after 17 long hours in airports and airplanes I made it to Dallas. I am happy to report that during the entire day I only consumed food that was prepared by me and got in a very good impromptu workout so I suppose since I got here safely and stuck to my plan all in all it was a Good Day!! But its a day that I NEVER want to experience again!! So Against All Odds you can still stick to your fitness & nutrition goals especially if you remember to always, Always, ALWAYS Plan & Prepare!!

Love ya & talk to ya soon!!

KQ