Monday, April 4, 2011

The REASONS why I do what I do . . .

Today's blog was soooooooooo going to be about something different but thinking about my daughter (Kyndal) & LC, I was IMMEDIATELY emotionally overwhelmed and brought to tears. That's been happening a lot lately but like my good friend  Kendra says, "let the tears out because that means it more water leaving the body"!! I love that chick, she's a trip :)
Anyway back to the story/topic at hand. I do these shows for many reasons first & foremost I do them for myself and for the Discipline & the Competition aspect because I am an Athlete and I am driven by setting goals, accomplishing them and winning. In this case winning isn't necessarily defined by getting 1st place or the trophy but by beating myself every time I step foot on that stage. Each time I want to bring a Better Kenisha to the stage in every aspect . . . conditioning, presentation, poise, etc and so far so good. I just want to be a BETTER ME at all cost . . . . BUT the second reason I do this and prolly it's more like 50/50 on the reasons is my Family (Kyndal & LC).
The 2 people you see here are my HEART!! I will SACRIFICE EVERYTHING for these 2 because I love them with all my heart and I know they want the best for me. For starters my daughter Kyndal . . . OH MY LAWD, I am just in tears typing this & that's no lie. This child is a Gift from God. . . a TRUE BLESSING that I could've never imagined that would've been bestowed on me. She motivates me and pushes me to be a better person ALL THE TIME. And prepping for these shows is no different. Please let me tell you how this little 6yr old "woman" keeps me in CHECK!! On any given day she can be heard saying the following things. . .
No mommy you can't have that . . 
Mommy I'm gonna tell Lawrence if you eat that (and she tells too)
My mommy doesn't need a menu because she has her food. . . she's training for a show so WE can Win!
Look at my muscles mommy . . .I've got BIG muscles like you and I'm strong like you
and so many other things . . . 

She is the BEST cheerleader a girl could ask for! She's also a GREAT training partner! Kyndal will go to the track, the stairs, or the gym with me and she will push me, keep count, take video, etc because she wants to see her mommy do her best. When I'm tired, covered in sweat, hurting and can't go another step she rubs me on my back and tells me how GREAT of a mommy I am then gives me something to drink or eat. So when I think about that HOW COULD I NOT WANT TO BE THE BEST!! I want her to see what can happen when you put your mind to something and you work hard for it. 
Then there's LC (Lawrence). . .WOW where do I begin with him?!?! He too is a Gift from God to me because how BLESSED & FORTUNATE am I do be in Love with my BEST FRIEND?!?! This man was with me years ago when I was bigger (not my biggest, but bigger) so he's experienced both Kenisha's and he loves me just the same :) I think there was a time he may have believed in my and my success more than I did. Constantly pushing me to put myself & my story out there but I was so afraid and said "no one cares about what I have to say and what I'm doing". . . well that was the Devil talking but the Lord sent him (and several of you) to REBUKE that and show me that people do care and are moved & motivated by my continued journey. I know I drive him NUTS sometimes but without a shadow of a doubt he sees What & Who I could be in this industry and please believe he pushes me like none other sometimes. All I can hear is . . . "did you email this person, did you call that person, when are you going to schedule a photoshoot, when are you going to start training clients and the list goes on. He was always someone who worked out but now he pushes even harder and when he noticed the major changes in himself I saw a fire spark and then he said the ultimate thing. . . ."I want to eat CLEAN with you next week while I'm home". Ya'll just don't know?!?!? I coulda dropped to my knees and kissed this man's feet but uhhhhhhhhh we won't be doing that LOL. . . the most he'll get is a foot rub (there's one waiting for you when you get home babes) LOLOL! But seriously it was that big of a deal and it made my week flow smoothly & successfully! 
Soooooooo when you are wondering why I do these things, why I put myself thru what appears to be agony, why I push so hard and won't give up now you know. I want to be #1 not only for me but for THEM! I want to be the AWESOME Woman & Mother they believe I am, I want to be successful in my every endeavor so I can provide them the luxuries in life. I want them to see what hard work, determination, discipline and their belief in me will produce. Again I tell you I love these 2 people with my whole heart and there's NO sacrifice that's too great to ensure their happiness which in turn makes me happy!! So I'm gonna dry my tears and get back to work. . . . I just wanted to share this tidbit of info with ya'll :)