YUP its that kinda mood!! And obviously from my title you can tell I DIDN'T get that call I was waiting for. But hey . . . Oh to the Well!! I am a little disappointed but I'm not discouraged. The only thing that's bothering me is getting back on track, which is really difficult right now. The reason its difficult is because I'm getting my personal training schedule together with my already busy schedule and its a little rocky, but again . . . Oh to the Well LOLOL because I gotta do what I gotta do to 1) take care of myself & my family (first & foremost) 2) better myself physically & 3) make a place for myself in the wonderful world of Health & Fitness. Things are going really good with the personal training and I see great opportunities and growth with the gyms I'm training out of. And now that I'm getting that schedule together I can get my training schedule together for my shows for next year because I'm trying to hit the stage with A MISSION & A VENGEANCE!!!
Lately my mind has been so clouded with input from everywhere & everyone but myself on how to diet & train, what shows to do or not to do, what division to be in or not be in to where I've about gone bout stone crazy! So now I'm turning off all those voices except for a few tried, true & trusted voices and I'm going for what I know. I'm going with old skool, in the trenches, back in the day grinding butt kicking, sweat filled, body aching workouts and let the cards fall where they may. I didn't get these 100lbs off just by chance and I keep confusing myself letting all this other stuff into my head. Don't get me wrong I know its time for a change, for a coach, for someone to watch over what I'm doing more closely but they have to be in line to listen to me and some of my wants in terms of how I want to continue to train not for LIFE not just for competitions. This is not something I'm doing just to walk the stage just for a competition this is something I'm doing to walk the stage of LIFE!! Well on that note I gotta run and cook.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh btw (by the way) I'm going to be on vacation from ALL my jobs starting Friday and I'm going to use that time to regroup and decide how I'm going to attack the blog and everything else that I'm participating in so there should be some GREAT changes and additions to come in the near future. As always Love ya and wishing you much success on your endeavors
KQ
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
M.I.A. because I fell short
Oh well here we go again . . . I've been a terrible blogger b/c I've been MIA for a few weeks and I think its because of 2 things. 1) I FELL SHORT and I was very upset with myself because I feel like I let you all down more so then letting my own self down. 2) My mind has been consumed waiting to hear back from an open call I went to.
So let's address the #1 reason why I went missing. I started my 30 days till Turkey Day challenge with a BANG and I was rocking & rolling. I was working out consistently, eating clean/healthy, getting my cardio in, etc and everything was GREAT! I had even dropped down to 151 which was only 6lbs away from my goal weight of 145. . . then the wheels fell off. I think it all happened somewhere around the middle of the month while I was trying to finalize everything for our move. I found myself missing a workout here or a workout there, then it became 2 days and the guilt just started mounting. Once that happened I told myself I didn't have to eat clean anymore and I could just eat healthy and that's when it went from bad to worse because Thanksgiving came. Now I will honestly admit I ate pretty decent. I didn't have any glutinous plates of food but I did eat things like popcorn, biscuits, NUTS, and even a Krispy Kreme doughnut which immediately gave me diabetes because I haven't had anything that sweet since "Hector was a pup". (let me explain that saying real fast b/c I use it a lot: Hector is a name of a imaginary dog . . . so if I haven't done something since "Hector was a pup" then it's been a looooooooooong time LOLOL!!!) So back to the story. . . I knew things were a little out of whack because I have eyes and I saw my abs weren't as visible and my pants were a smidge tighter but not uncomfortable. Well when I got back home I weighed myself, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD why did I do that. Let's just say it wasn't an ideal weight. I now found myself in a worse mood then I was when I initially fell of the wagon and I had some damage control work to do and I did it then my "friend" decided it was time to grace me with her aggravating presence. Since I'm dealing with that situation right now I've decided not to weigh myself again until this Sunday and I'll report back to you on my progress, but if I keep up the pace I've been going at all will be well. I'm very hard on myself and I set a lofty but attainable goal and I was VERY DISAPPOINTED with myself for failing and letting you all down. I am good at carrying Guilt!! This is why I've never been able to cheat or steal because I can't live with the thought of knowing what I've done, it just eats me up like none other!
So now let's talk about the #2 reason why I've been away . . . Ya'll know I participated in the Wilhelmina open call for the Next Hot Body and it went GREAT!! So much so to where I was completely blown away. They were very impressed with me, my store, my progress, the whole nine. Nooooooooow we're drawing closer to the day where they announce the semi-finalists and I'm nervously awaiting a phone call, email, snail mail, singing telegram, a sky writing or any form of communication they'd like to use to get in touch with me and let me know I've made the cut. My friends & family seem to believe I've already got it in the bag and on the 14th I'll be contacted and all will be well. I don't deny that I'm just anxious. I know I did all I could do to impress them and express why I should be chosen as a participant in this contest and now its in God's hands. But again I'm still nervous mainly to do with my #1 reason for being MIA. I've gotta get my body back in tip top, knock'em dead, give the people what they want shape and I vow not to rest until I've done so. On that note I have to take these sweaty clothes off from my recent cardio workout and change for my lifting workout for the evening. I WILL NOT BE DENIED!! So I'll wrap this up by saying I am soooooooooooo very sorry for failing in my challenge and for going missing. I promise to do better next time.
Love you all and talk to ya soon
KQ
So let's address the #1 reason why I went missing. I started my 30 days till Turkey Day challenge with a BANG and I was rocking & rolling. I was working out consistently, eating clean/healthy, getting my cardio in, etc and everything was GREAT! I had even dropped down to 151 which was only 6lbs away from my goal weight of 145. . . then the wheels fell off. I think it all happened somewhere around the middle of the month while I was trying to finalize everything for our move. I found myself missing a workout here or a workout there, then it became 2 days and the guilt just started mounting. Once that happened I told myself I didn't have to eat clean anymore and I could just eat healthy and that's when it went from bad to worse because Thanksgiving came. Now I will honestly admit I ate pretty decent. I didn't have any glutinous plates of food but I did eat things like popcorn, biscuits, NUTS, and even a Krispy Kreme doughnut which immediately gave me diabetes because I haven't had anything that sweet since "Hector was a pup". (let me explain that saying real fast b/c I use it a lot: Hector is a name of a imaginary dog . . . so if I haven't done something since "Hector was a pup" then it's been a looooooooooong time LOLOL!!!) So back to the story. . . I knew things were a little out of whack because I have eyes and I saw my abs weren't as visible and my pants were a smidge tighter but not uncomfortable. Well when I got back home I weighed myself, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD why did I do that. Let's just say it wasn't an ideal weight. I now found myself in a worse mood then I was when I initially fell of the wagon and I had some damage control work to do and I did it then my "friend" decided it was time to grace me with her aggravating presence. Since I'm dealing with that situation right now I've decided not to weigh myself again until this Sunday and I'll report back to you on my progress, but if I keep up the pace I've been going at all will be well. I'm very hard on myself and I set a lofty but attainable goal and I was VERY DISAPPOINTED with myself for failing and letting you all down. I am good at carrying Guilt!! This is why I've never been able to cheat or steal because I can't live with the thought of knowing what I've done, it just eats me up like none other!
So now let's talk about the #2 reason why I've been away . . . Ya'll know I participated in the Wilhelmina open call for the Next Hot Body and it went GREAT!! So much so to where I was completely blown away. They were very impressed with me, my store, my progress, the whole nine. Nooooooooow we're drawing closer to the day where they announce the semi-finalists and I'm nervously awaiting a phone call, email, snail mail, singing telegram, a sky writing or any form of communication they'd like to use to get in touch with me and let me know I've made the cut. My friends & family seem to believe I've already got it in the bag and on the 14th I'll be contacted and all will be well. I don't deny that I'm just anxious. I know I did all I could do to impress them and express why I should be chosen as a participant in this contest and now its in God's hands. But again I'm still nervous mainly to do with my #1 reason for being MIA. I've gotta get my body back in tip top, knock'em dead, give the people what they want shape and I vow not to rest until I've done so. On that note I have to take these sweaty clothes off from my recent cardio workout and change for my lifting workout for the evening. I WILL NOT BE DENIED!! So I'll wrap this up by saying I am soooooooooooo very sorry for failing in my challenge and for going missing. I promise to do better next time.
Love you all and talk to ya soon
KQ
Friday, November 19, 2010
All I can say is . . I'M BLESSED!!!
I was quiet yesterday because I was deep in thought and I almost blogged but I'm glad I waited until today. I may have to number the things I want to talk about to ensure I get them all in LOLOLOL!!!!
I AM SO BLESSED. . . .
KQ
I AM SO BLESSED. . . .
- To have such a GOOD, SUPPORTIVE, NO NONSENSE man!! I have never held any punches when I told you all I have been through some tough things in the relationship world over the last several years. To now be in a relationship with someone I can call my BEST FRIEND, CONFIDANT, A$$ KICKER and several other things (hehehe) is a WONDERFUL thing!! When my ugly self doubt kicks in he is always there to encourage, support & push me. He is also there to wrestle me down to the ground to take food out of my mouth that I'm trying to sneak when I'm supposed to be on a strict diet (and YES he does do that. . .NO LIE). He is a great provider for myself & my daughter and is 100% behind me in living my dream to launch my career in the fitness world. Ya'll now that earlier this week (on Tuesday) I quit my part-time job on a whim because I was just tired of the BS and I called him and told him I did it and he said "Ok, no problem" then the next day (Wednesday) I had an interview and got hired to personal train at a new gym up here (hehehe YES I snuck that one in on ya'll) and he said to me Thursday how proud he was that I went out and got the job doing what I want I'm passionate about and that I didn't hesitate. Hearing him say that which is actually something so simple made me explode on the inside with joy because I knew I was doing the right thing and I have someone in my corner who knows & believes the same thing. Ok so enough about him. . . on to the next topic
- To know who I am & not let anyone sway me from what I believe & know is right & true!! When people see certain things in you that they themselves want or wish they had (I'm not just talking about material things, I'm talking about personality, drive, determination, motivation, fearlessness/bravery and anything else you can possibly think of) they try to do things to tear you down. There's something someone once told me and I will always remember it . . . .People HATE what they LOVE and want to be!! I know that sounds weird but think about it. . . you have all these qualities or material things that they wish they had and instead of encouraging & supporting you they hate on you, talk about you, heck talk down to you or are just plum T nasty. It's because they want to be walking in your shoes but oddly enough they have no clue what you had to do to get those shoes and how difficult that walk has been and still is. But when people throw this negative mess at you it sometimes makes you question yourself but through my journey I've grown so much and now there is no amount of hate, negativity or foolishness anyone can send my way to sway me or change who & what I am!
- I gotta wrap it up cause there's tons to do today so the final thing I'll mention is . . . I'm SO BLESSED to have the courage to STEP OUT ON FAITH!! July 1st 2010 I made the BIGGEST move in my life from NC to CT and please believe me everyone asked me if I was scared and said they would be and that was such a big & crazy move . . . BUT this has turned out to be the BEST thing I've ever done in my life outside of the move I made to Charlotte on a whim 11yrs ago. This is my first time saying this out loud to anyone other than my besties Michelle, Rebecca & Kendra but YES I was scared when I made the move because I didn't know what the future here in CT held but I had FAITH and TRUSTED in God and knew he would continue to provide & direct me in the way I should go and that's exactly what has happened!!! I have done so many things I said I would do when I was living in Charlotte but never did. I can't explain the EXCITEMENT I feel just thinking about what's on the horizon for me. I could get up out this chair and shout through this house and fall to my knees and say my Praises & Thanks to the Lord for his grace & mercy!! LC, my mom & friends will tell you that sometimes I'm so overwhelmed with happiness now I can barely contain myself.
KQ
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