On an Emotional Rollercoaster!!

I am usually the person that's always upbeat and happy who keeps everyone positive and motivated, fired up and laughing . . .BUT right now that's NOT who I am!! Currently I'm on a serious "Emotional Rollercoaster" and I want off ASAP!!

 

 

 

This is a good visual description of how my roller coaster looks

This rollercoaster  ride started Wednesday when I spent 17hrs getting from Connecticut to Dallas. It was honestly the WORST experience of my life but I handled it in stride and said I couldn't be mad because it was weather related and I tried to make lemonade out of lemons by working out, talking to people and continuing to eat clean. But knowingly the damage had be done!! Once I got to Dallas the weather went from bad to worse for them and it snowed and ya'll know they couldn't handle that so there I was basically stranded in the room but again I made the best of it by staying on top of my eats and working out. Finally the weather broke so LC & I had planned to hit the town a few nights like we did in Miami last year and have a blast . . . THAT WAS AN EPIC FAILURE!! The best part of the trip was I finally got to meet up with my friend Kendra and we had a KILLER workout, went to eat and she took me to get my beloved cocoa almonds. It was GREAT!! Unfortunately I had to fly back Sunday because that was the only day I could get a flight out and everything was going smooth until I got to D.C. and find out that United so graciously canceled my flight and I wasn't gonna get home until midnight at the earliest. Needless to say I flipped out because that meant another 7hrs in an airport. I completely lost it and went into a ranting & raving fussing & cussing fest. Then I broke down and ate some of the cocoa almonds I had in my bag and that made me feel worse about myself. And that's when the rollercoaster really took off.
Today is Tuesday and I've been crying on and off about this and that since Sunday and I'm just ready to be over it because I so hate being in these types of moods for several reasons the main one being its Counterproductive:

• what can you get accomplished when you're experiencing these highs & lows
• normally when you're experiencing highs & lows like this your stress level is high which makes your cortisol levels rise which can in turn cause you to hold more fat (so NOT good!!)
• self-doubt and all kinds of negative thoughts start creeping in . . . and that's where I'm at right now
• emotional eating (Thank God I only have clean food in my house which keeps me from consuming the wrong thing)

I so desperately want to dig myself out of this emotional rut but it's proving to be harder then usual this time around. I will admit to you all I am VERY hard on myself and set VERY high expectations and standards that I do my best to attain, so when I'm not meeting those expectations I immediately feel like a failure. Now I know deep down inside I'm not a failure and that I've come a long way in life but I want MORE for myself, is that so wrong?!? I honestly don't think so but I'm going to have to get some perspective when it comes to handling setbacks and whatever other issues arise. I will say that blogging and getting it out is one of the BEST ways for me to release myself. I honestly feel better now that I've let it out a bit and I'm going to gather myself and head out the door for an awesome workout and maybe after that I'll troll around some stores and get some visual retail therapy :) So thank you for listening and I hope to report back to you in a few days with a much better deposition because this one is CRAPPY!!


KQ (desperately trying to keep my head up)

Against All Odds!!!

Boy Oh BOY lemmi tell ya. . . yesterday was a VERY challenging and long day, but I passed with flying colors if you ask me!!
As you all already know its SuperBowl week and I headed to Dallas to spend time with LC and some of my friends down here in the Big D. Needless to say we are all pretty much being affected by this weather one way or another and yesterday was my day to be affected by it in EVERY WAY!! I initially wanted to be upset and I realized what purpose was that gonna serve. Instead I just sat back and took the entire day in stride and stuck to my original plan which included 2 major things which were 1) eating my own food and 2) getting a workout in at some point during the day. I basically decided that Against All Odds I was going to succeed!

So sit back and  lemmi give you a rundown of how the day went from start to finish, hopefully you can get a laugh out of it as I have been able to now that it's over LOLOL . . . For starters I received my first shocker when I tried to check into my flight the night before to unexpectedly find out I've been moved from my Hartford to Charlotte flight and now I'm going Hartford to Philly. . . hmmmmmmm ok can you say email or call a sista?!?! The only plus to that was the flight was later in the morning so I figured the roads would be ok, ummmmmmmm NOT! I had to de-ice my car and dig it out then slowly (10-20miles/hr) make my way to the airport. Getting checked in and to my gate was a breeze cause ALL the other flights were CANCELLED, hmmmm this didn't have me feeling very good about the situation, but they assured us we'd be getting out because we weren't flying into a city that was riddled with snow & ice. So my boarding time comes & goes and in the meantime between time a Charlotte flight lands and prepares to take off again and I ask "why wasn't I put on that one". Well they try to switch me then deliver the disturbing news that IF I take that flight my luggage WON'T be flying with me and they don't know when it'll get to Dallas, ok NO Thank You! So we wait, and Wait and WAIT!! During this waiting period I stuck to my schedule and ate my meals that I prepared. Well after I did that I was BORED and decided I would get a quick workout in since I was wearing my workout leggings and my sneakers were in my bag. Little did I know I was gonna start a trend. . . by the time it was all said and done there were 3 others working out with me :) It was soooo good to see others want to get up and get their Health & Fitness on with me.

Getting ready 2 get my workout on

My workout consisted of the following:

• Walking lunges up & down the terminal to warmup
• Dynamic Squats
• Push-ups superset w/Dips off the airport chairs
• Reverse lunges w/forward kick
• High knees
• Toe touches up & down 3 rows of airport seats
• Abs

I soooooo HATE I forgot to record this workout for ya'll. I have no idea where my mind was. . . well actually I do, it was thinking about when are we gonna get on this dern plane!! After I got all cleaned up I had another meal then went to sleep for a little while because the thoughts of mixed nuts were dancing through my head. And thankfully I gave myself that rest because before I knew it we were on the plane . . . YEAHHH!!! What really should've been an 1hr15min flight turned out to be a smidge over 2hrs, URGH!! For one we were on the tarmac forever, then we had to be de-iced and finally we took off only to experience some "In the name of Jesus turbulence". We were put in a holding pattern and it had us going around and Around and AROUND thru some awful turbulence and the entire time I was holding onto the seat saying "Jesus, Jesus, JESUS" over and over again. I was so happy to land I coulda kissed the ground but I had no time I had to run thru the Philly airport to my next gate b/c my flight was taking off in 45min. YEAH RIGHT. . . I get to my gate and the flight was moved, I get to the new gate and the flights been delayed 2.5hrs.

Lawd Have Mercy Jesus

I was just mentally out down at this point so I just walked the Philly airport for a long time looking at the shops and eventually treating myself to some retail therapy in a cute accessory store. I finally went back to my gate and began eating some of my food and noticed I was sitting around several BIG ex-football playing men and one of them was eyeballing my grub and said "WOW you packed good, I need come over there and see whatcha got cause I'm hungry". OHHHHHHHHHHHH NO!! I gave him a look as if to say "you think you've delivered and felt a hard hit on the field but you come over here and touch this food and you'll get the football hit of your lifetime! Don't mess with a sista's food after she's been stuck in the airport all dern day. Especially now that it looked like we were about to be delayed again because yet again my flight time came & went. Once that happened the drunks started acting up and causing a ruckus and we thought we weren't ever gonna get to leave but finally we were allowed to board to find ourselves sitting for another 30-45min, then the pilot informs us that the flight will take longer then normal because of the serious head winds we're flying through, URGHHHHHH I was just OUT DONE so I said my prayers and closed my eyes and slept! Finally after 17 long hours in airports and airplanes I made it to Dallas. I am happy to report that during the entire day I only consumed food that was prepared by me and got in a very good impromptu workout so I suppose since I got here safely and stuck to my plan all in all it was a Good Day!! But its a day that I NEVER want to experience again!! So Against All Odds you can still stick to your fitness & nutrition goals especially if you remember to always, Always, ALWAYS Plan & Prepare!!

Love ya & talk to ya soon!!

KQ

21day Detox - Day 5.5 (lol)

Yes I'm going through a Detox so to speak as I prepare for my next show. As I mentioned in my Cardio Rambling vlog, I decided to meet with a trainer up here in CT because I really needed & wanted my hand held this time. Now there's no doubt I would've done just fine without a trainer but "doing fine" isn't what I want . . . I WANNA WIN!! So to ensure success I sought out the knowledge of a local trainer to literally kick my arse in shape and to allow me to clear my mind a bit. So when I met with him this past weekend and we did m weight & body fat (which we will NOT talk about in detail hehehe), he decided I needed to go on a Detox to get myself back on track and I couldn't have agreed more. Truthfully this is just clean eats to the extreme which is what I would normally be doing close to the end of competition prep. Honestly the majority of the things I have to say NO to aren't that hard except for my Splenda Brown Sugar. But the things on my NO-NO list that are no problem for me are:ugar or sugar substitute

• sugar - NEVER use regular sugar
• salt - used very sparingly to begin with
• bread - don't eat it anyway
• dairy - don't drink milk anyway
• pasta - don't eat this either
• gluten based products - I already do everything in my power to stay away from these
• alcohol - I rarely drink except for times like NYE

Now here are the one's that are killing me:

• splenda brown sugar
• salsa
• nuts & trailmix
• marinades or low fat dressings I would sometimes use to make meals

The list of the things that are driving me batty is very small but VERY powerful!!! The funny thing is I don't over indulge in any of them except the nuts & trailmix but I miss them all the same. For example the splenda & salsa. . . I use a very minimal amount of these when I'm eating my oatmeal or eggs, broccoli & chicken. Now I can't have them at all and I just find myself staring at them in the cabinet or fridge when I'm prepping my food. But I will say now that I've made it 6 days without these things I'm actually doing pretty good. I only suffered one brief moment when I was being haunted by nuts but I quickly got over it with the satisfying taste of a sweet potato.
Honestly I have to tell you I've never felt better, not so much because of the fact that I'm doing something different then I've ever done but because I'm following the plan to the letter!! This includes my workouts and my cardio. Yes my beloved cardio got cut back too but for good reason. I was actually hurting myself more than I was helping myself with the massive amounts of cardio I was doing and lack of calories I was feeding myself. Ohhhhhhhhh and the other thing that's driving me crazy is NOT being able to weigh. . . .YES I'm admitting that I've been a scale junkie and I was getting on it constantly and driving myself bananas with the results. Well now I can't weigh until my 21 days are up and I'm going to stick to it!
This Detox is not only helping my body it's helping my mental state!! I'm using this time to cleanse my mind of all the negativity and craziness that I would feed myself on a regular basis. This behavior was spawned from negative comments and actions from friends and family close to me in the past that has driven me to question the success that I have had up to this point. So all in all this Detox is the BEST thing that could've ever happened to me and I welcome it with open arms!!
See ya in a few days with my ploymetrics & olympic lift demo
Much Love
KQ